I Am the Center of My Universe

By Anna Caliandro

Monday

The usual banter about the weekend, and sports, and such things that fascinate the teenagers of the North Branch School came to an end as Tal stomped into the room, and we began morning meeting.

“Does anyone have anything?” Asked Tal, as he usually did, to begin our morning meeting. Nathan told us about how he and a few other boys had gone to sleep over at Yared’s house, and instead of staying inside to enjoy the seemingly endless joys of video games, they went outside to sit around a bonfire and talk until eleven until Nathan got scared and they went inside.

Simon told us about how his Grandmother is very sick, and how when he was advised to make a card, instead, he thought about the book “My Name is Asher Lev”, which his lit class is currently reading, and instead wanted to paint a picture for her, similar to a painting by Picasso. Not to imitate Picasso’s art, but to have the same effect, so that when you look it, you have to look beyond shapes, designs and colors, which are beautiful by themselves, but look beyond that to understand the meaning, and that is what Simon tried to do with his Painting.

Reed read Sonnet XII by William Shakespeare.

When I do count the clock that tells the time,

And see the brave day sunk in hideous night;

When I behold the violet past prime,

And sable curls all silvered o’er with white;

When lofty trees I see barren of Leaves

Which erst from heat which canopy the herd,

And summer’s green all girded up in sheaves

Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard,

Then of thy beauty do I question make

That thou among the wastes of time must go,

Since sweets and beauties do themselves forsake

And die as fast as they see others grow;

And nothing ‘gainst Time’s scythe can make defence

Save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.

In Science class, we are working on completing our projects from over the course of the year, some of which we are completing from years before this. A few of us are working on completing the slate roof of the Bread Oven, making the slates overlap perfectly. Some of us are working to create a garden on a slope, but terracing it with stone walls. There are some people who are testing the soil, and planning out how to grow Vegetables efficiently in the Garden. Some of us are running around, flipping through books and running through the woods, to complete our Fitness Trail, which we will run dutifully so as to be true Spartans.

In the Afternoon, we watched two slideshows, one with pictures from the Ninth Grade hike, and one with pictures the Luke took on his trip in Barcelona. Seeing pictures of something that you are not a part, such as the ninth grade hike, of or have not experienced, such as Barcelona, provides a glimpse into that, to understand even just a fraction of what we haven’t experienced yet. It isn’t gossip, it’s not like playing truth or dare when you constantly want to know more gossip, but are afraid to ask a question. Looking at the pictures just lets us see a tiny fragment of what other people experience, and who they are.

Tal read Yared’s Story, which he titled “Ethiopia’s Dream”. It was about Yared, being adopted from Ethiopia, and then living in Vermont for several years, and being with American Aunts and Uncles, and not feeling true love for all of them, always wearing a fake, cheesy smile. The he went back to Ethiopia, and at first he wasn’t sure what it would be like, he was scared about what it would be, but then he found that he felt enormous love towards Ethiopia, and his family there. He saw the places from his childhood, where he would play soccer, and where he would steal bananas because he was hungry. He saw all of these places, and saw his family, and he loved it all, and felt a lot of love, when he would watch his little sister, or hug his mother, when he was with his family, all superficial feelings left him, and the only feeling that remained was Love.

He went back to Vermont, and one night as he was typing his story, he sat at his desk, and saw photographs of his family in Ethiopia. He began to think about his two families, his family in America, and his family in Ethiopia. He felt equal love for all of them, and knew that they loved him in return. He ended his story by saying something that was very smart: “The thing that counts is the love, and as long as I have that love I can be who I am where ever I am.”

Tuesday

On Tuesday Morning, Jesse turned in an outstanding, beautiful, meaningful story about Desire, Truth, and Love into Tal- printed on paper with a light blue border and snowflakes, and a large Frosty the Snowman on the bottom right corner. We joked before meeting about the outrage and scandal of turning in a profound, meaningful piece of writing in on Frosty the Snowman paper. It isn’t actually that scandalous. It would just be a little like the Constitution being written on a floral Garnet Hill bed sheet.

Meeting began with Tal showing us an article in Sports Illustrated on the World Cup Soccer. He showed us pictures, and talked to us about the importance of soccer, how it made people stop hating each other in some places so that they could watch Soccer. He showed us pictures of people playing soccer all around the world- The streets of Haiti, even after the earthquake, French Polynesia, and many others. He told us about how Brazil was where soccer first became beautiful, the moves becoming beautiful, the sport not just a sport, but a beautiful sport. But then the country became an economic powerhouse, and the soccer style became very conservative, and lost all it’s creativity and beauty. This is a little like what happens to people as they get older. When we are younger, we don’t have analytical minds, we don’t constantly worry, and we are just free in ourselves. We still have creative minds, which can produce beautiful things. But then as we grow older, we become more aware, out minds become analytical, and we start to worry about things that we didn’t worry about when we were very little, and we lose the creativity that made us beautiful, and become like Brazil, an Economic Powerhouse, with Analytical Minds, and constant worrying. This is like the quote by Picasso. “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” We have to remember who we are, who we were before we cared so much and became obsessive, before we lose our creativity and freedom. What we are constantly searching for, we, I mean the students at the North Branch School, is how to become free in ourselves, and still stay who we are.

Luke told us about how he had been researching World War II and the Holocaust, and he read a timeline. He noticed how slowly but surely, things continued to get worse, and insane in terms of cruelty and injustice. He became very angry about this. He thought at first that his anger was a bad thing, because he thought that that made him like Hitler, but then he realized that his anger was a good thing, because he realized that if he hadn’t gotten angry, he wouldn’t have cared as much, and his anger showed that he cared.

Luke read a poem that he picked out, with the Ninth Graders leaving in mind. It is called “Goodbyes,” by David Harris.

Edgar gave a great project on Sustainable Food. The Definition of Sustainable is: “Capable of being continued while minimizing effects on environment.”

We discussed how Sustainable food is Utopian. On a very obvious level, Utopia wouldn’t be very good or Utopian if there was no good food. You just wouldn’t be healthy. You also have to have food that woks with nature to be Utopian. If we compare Utopia to the world, there are seasons, and that effects food. We grow food when it isn’t the proper season for it, which is not Utopian at all, it’s strange and not natural.

Edgar told us about food, and what it can do to you. So many people eat food that is terrible for them, and they don’t even realize it. Corn is in so many things. It is way over produced. It is being grown so much that it destroys the soil, and we shouldn’t even be growing it so much, because it’s just a cheap resource. When it’s put into food, it’s not good for you. Corn Consumption, in some form, Like Corn Starch or Corn Syrup is one of the leading causes of Obesity, it’s terrible for you, but it’s in almost everything. Corn relates to how Animals are treated unfairly as well. Cows, the source of Beef and Milk. Cows are fed corn, but cows cannot digest corn properly, so they are fed hormones which really just make the cows unhealthy. He told us about how the Government supports big meat producing companies, the ones who don’t treat their animals right, give them hormones and keep them in tiny stalls and coops, and the Government gives the big meat companies that sell the meat which isn’t very good for you, for lower prices, so that families without a lot of money can afford it, which is not smart at all, because it is not helping the families at all. And then the good Meat Companies, that treat their animals correctly and don’t give them hormones, let them graze in fields and feed them the right food are not paid very much at all, so they, the ones who are doing everything right, treating the animals right, so that they produce healthy meat for people to eat, these companies have to raise the prices of their meat, and so then not as many people can afford to buy the meat that is good for you, good for the earth, and that is the company where the Animals have been treated correctly.

Edgar showed us a video, from diet.com. It was an interview with a Woman who bought a meal from McDonalds, complete with a Burger and Fries, which she carried it around in her purse for four years. She also carried around food without preservatives, a raw slice of a potato. She compared the potato, without any preservatives or grease or anything on it, to a McDonalds French Fry. The Potato with no preservatives had mold growing on it, which, for once, was a relief to see. The French Fry from McDonalds had become grey, and shriveled, but didn’t have the slightest trace of mold on it. The McDonald’s Hamburger was the same. The bun was crumbling, but still had no mold. The burger itself had shriveled, as it had lost all it’s moisture, but like the other McDonald’s foods, it had no trace of mold anywhere.

At the end of Edgar’s project, he had an activity for us to do. He had brought in a loaf of Wonderbread, and a loaf of nice, bakery made, local bread with good ingredients. He brought in Cheese made in Grafton Vermont, with a red wax encasing it, and Easy Cheese, in a metal spray can with an artificial looking seal. Both cheeses cost the same amount. They both weighed the same. But one of them came from Grafton, Vermont, and one of them came from Illinois. Then, he insisted that we TASTE them both. We were horrified. Or at least most of us were. Ollie jumped up to be the first one to get his sample of Wonderbread and Easy Cheese. He tasted it, and announced to the room that it tasted exactly like Butter. I do not think that most people shared Ollie’s happy opinion about Wonderbread and Easy Cheese. Most of us thought that it was completely revolting tasting.

In Lit Class, the Eighth and Ninth readers are reading “The Catcher in the Rye”. We talked about Holden Caulfield, and about how he only ever touches a feeling. He said in the first sentence of the book that he did not want to talk about his childhood, completely skipping over the events that shaped him. He was never prepared to go all the way into something, he always stayed where he was safe. When Jane Gallagher was nearby, a girl who he had spent an entire summer with, a dancer and a very nice girl, who he had a crush on, Holden stayed upstairs. Why? The fear of Rejection. Not giving himself, not making himself visible because it might be rejected. So he made himself visible to other things, the things that he didn’t really care about- other girls who he didn’t really love or care about. He made something visible to the people who he didn’t care about, but he wouldn’t show who he truly was to the person who he wanted to see, who he did truly care about, Jane Gallagher. He would say that he was unhappy, but he never says in a clear form why. Instead he stayed where he was safe, where he could pretend, take the name of someone else, and hide behind that, so as not to be seen. I thought about myself, as Holden Caulfield. I thought about us all, as Holden Caulfield, about how we avoid the truth because it may be rejected, we hide the truest part of ourselves, again, because of rejection. We grow older, and fear rejection. We lose the artist that was once inside of us, when we were younger, the free artist, who was free of the burden of caring too much. Holden starts to fear what he feels, maybe love, but his older mind is working, worrying, taking away his artist and who he truly is, taking away the truest part of himself, so that all is left is a boy who looks through a window, into a different life, so that he never has to face any people, rejection, but most of all, himself.

Wednesday

We had meeting downstairs in the clay room. Aylee raised her hand and told us about how she had been at the café in Barnes and Nobles, and she saw a tall, muscular Man being taught how to read by an old man. She saw him sounding out the words, still smiling, and thought about how being smart means being smart in the same way like everyone else, but to her what smart meant was the desire to learn.

We found out that the real reason that we had been summoned to the Clay Room for Morning Meeting was so that we could discuss the making of tiles, which would be painted nicely and neatly, and then hung on the walls in the Big Room. Edgar and Nathan read off some of the names of the Tile Paint. Jack O’ Lantern. Leaping Lizard. And many more. But our favorite name by far was Black. We all laughed at black’s clever title.

The NBS Teenagers then converted rapidly from being both hyperactive, thoughtful, and obviously sleep deprived teenagers into a melodious choir, and we sang Aylee a melodious Happy Birthday. We apologized in advance for our poor talent in terms of singing Happy Birthday, but we didn’t sound as bad as we usually did.

Evan read a poem that he himself had written called “Blind”. We gaped in astonishment when we learned that he had written it, not because we had not expected such a great thing from him, but only because it was incredible.

At dusk the tree stands straight again

And yesterday is forgotten

A feast of motion ends

With the closing of a blossom

But the still never cease to move

And we all know what is forgotten

Anger does not show the guilty what they’re sorry for

The truth is shown through mirrors

For only then can one see

I myself am not selfless

I myself see only me

We found out how to live

And yet I can not follow

Life is not a game with rules

We must only breathe and swallow

Yet I have learned much

And many have learned I

The Earth has no Pinnacles

But it is still an I

Life has no pupil

No center

There is no spot

But even without the ladder it has seen things I have not

Our triumphs are our downfalls

Our edges are our cores

We see life through empty sockets

We need not see to feel.

I can sit in myself all day,

Without moving,

Without opening my eyes,

And still I know,

I know the flower blossom's closing,

The branch’s stopping their dances,

And the light beginning to fade,

I know that it is dusk

I know this because I know I

I know myself

And I know everything,

I am the center of my universe.

In the Afternoon, we talked about a girl in our class. She couldn’t see the good in herself. She always thought that she was worse than she actually was. She obsessed over the things that she did not do exactly perfectly, and so then she failed to see all of the good in herself, even when she wanted to. She wanted to feel close to everyone, but sometimes had a harder time feeling like that. She had written a story about a good friend of hers, but who she used to be a lot closer to, and she was worried that when the friend heard the story, he would not care, and would sit there, stone-like. We talked about this for a long time, as she cried and told us everything that she was feeling. This wasn’t like gossip, either. It isn’t gossip for us to find out about what other people are feeling, it’s like looking at the pictures in a slideshow, we are simply trying to find, and beginning to understand, a side of a person that we do not usually see. We can skip all of the false exteriors presented and we can see people for who they truly are, and when we get a glimpse of who someone truly is, we hold on to this glimpse as if it were the only thing in the entire world, just for the moment.

Thursday:

On Thursday Morning, Anneke told us about how she and her sister had gone outside and stood in the storm for a long time. She was with her, and was realizing the changes in her sister. She thought that he sister was acting too much older, and should be acting younger and not so grown-up. She saw how her sister always seemed really frustrated at everything, and she was sad that it was like this,

Luke Presented his project on Fascism. Fascism is a Government where a few people are in control of everything, including industry and business and banks, but mainly run by a dictator. Everyone is equal, so it is like Communism, except for the Dictator who decides everything. The belief behind Fascism was mainly that if you killed or dominated what you did not like, you would have Utopia. He told us about Nationalism, which is believing that the State itself comes before everything else. Communism is based off of a belief that no one owns anything. Authoritarianism is where there is a Dictatorship. And a Democracy is a government run by the people.

The first Fascist was Benito Mussolini. Mussolini was born in 1883, and for much of his childhood, he worked with his Father in his Father’s blacksmith shop. Working there, from a young age he was exposed to his Father’s Socialist beliefs. Mussolini had a very big ego, and he was very violent. He stabbed a boy in boarding school during a fight. He began to give speeches about his beliefs, and was very well liked. He was a member of the Socialist Party, but then he was expelled when they found out that he had started a Fascist Newspaper. He founded an official Fascist Party in Italy, and then in 1922 he became the prime minister of Italy. When he was running for Prime Minister, he stated that he was running as a Socialist, and then when he was elected, he declared himself Fascist. When he was in power, there were elections for other Prime Ministers, but they were fixed, so that no one else got elected but him, and so that he would be Prime Minister until he died. He could control everything- He could control what kids in schools did and learned- He could ensure that they were all told about how great Mussolini was, so that they would think that he was great. He died in 1945, when he and his wife were both killed because people did not like him anymore, because everything that he did was cruel and disasterous, and it had gone on for too long.

Then Luke told us about Hitler. Hitler was born in Austria, in 1889. Hitler was a carefree child, but after seeing a book about Franco, he became obsessed with war. His Father beat him regularly, but he was close to his mother. In Elementary School be would always fight with his Teacher and his Father, but he had respect and a good relationship with his Mother. Hitler wanted to go to a Classical High School to study art, but his father didn’t let him, and this made Hitler even angrier with his father. When Hitler was 21, his mother died. In 1907, he was rejected from the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna. It is very likely that the Headmaster of the Academy was Jewish, and that could have played in a role in Hitler’s insane hatred of Jews later on in life. He tried to be a street artist, and in 1909, he ran out of money and was forced to go to a Homeless Shelter.

Then he went to the German Workers Party, and was elected the leader of National Socialist German Workers Party. We then read a poem by Wislawa Szymborska about Hitler, that imagined Hitler as a cute little boy, and what he could have grown up to be

Hitler's First Photograph

And who’s this little fellow in his itty-bitty robe?

That’s tiny baby Adolf, the Hitler’s little boy!
Will be grow up to be an LL.D?

Or a tenor in Vienna’s Opera House?

Whose teensy hand is this, whose little ear and eye and nose?

Whose tummy full of milk, we just don’t know:

Printer’s, doctor’s, merchant’s, priest’s,

Where will those tootsy-wootsies finally wander?

To garden, to school, to an office, to a bride,

Maybe to the Burgermeister’s daughter?

Precious little angel, mommy’s sunshine, honeybun,

While he was being born a year ago,

There was no death of signs on the earth and in the sky:

Spring sun, geraniums in windows,

The organ-grinder’s music in the yard,

A lucky fortune wrapped in rosy paper,

Then just before the labor his mother’s fateful dream:

A dove seen in dream means joyful news,

If it is caught, a long-awaited guest will come.

Knock knock, who’s there, it’s Adolf’s heartchen knocking.

A little pacifier, diaper, rattle, bib,

Our bouncing boy, thank God and knock on wood, is well,

Looks just like his folks, like a kitten in a basket,

Like the tots in every other family album.

Shush, let’s not start crying, sugar,

That camera will click from under that black hood.

The Klinger Atelier, Grabenstrasse, Braunau,

And Braunau is small but worthy town,

Honest businesses, obliging neighbors,

Smell of yeast dough, of gray soap.

No one hears howling dogs or fate’s footsteps.

A history teacher loosens his collar

And yawns over homework.

We watched a Clip of a propaganda movie, “Triumph of the Will,” that showed Hitler as a strong speaker, someone who you couldn’t help but as to see as someone to look up to and follow.

We then talked about the Holocaust and WW II. The war began September 1st, 1939. The holocaust was a systematic prosecution of Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, handicapped, Catholics, and political dissidents. Anyone who resisted the Nazis were murdered, so there was no way of getting out of this. In the Holocaust, there were 13,000,000 people killed. Then we talked about Franco. He was born in Spain in 1892 into a Military family. Became a soldier of the Spanish Army, and was the youngest general in Europe. He seized control over Spain. There was no freedom of speech, and the only religion allowed was Catholicism. Everything was controlled by Franco. We read several quotes by Franco, such as “Communists should be crushed like worms” and agreed that he was really not a very smart man.

Friday:

On Friday morning, Calder told us about how he had been playing Soccer with Ollie, and it was good to do something with him that was just fun and not competitive. Jesse told us about how she had been trying to list what she thought she was good at, and wondered why she had been so convinced that she was bad all of the time. But as she made the list she then found goodness in herself. Tal talked about Jesse’s story, which she was making the list for, and a Painting that Jesse liked. Talking about the Painting led Tal into talking about Curious George, and how The Man in the Yellow Hat was kind of a dumb monkey owner. According to Tal he should have learned after Curious George getting away so many times to just keep Curious George on a leash.

Claire told us about how she had been swimming, and she saw a family in disarray. The parents were smoking, and being mean to their children, and holding them under water, and then the children would come up laughing. She thinking about how that family was just one of so many, there were so many families like that, and how she should be so grateful to have the family that she does. Then Claire read us a poem Called “Black Maps”, by Mark Strand.

Black Maps

Not the attendance of stones,

nor the applauding wind,

shall let you know

you have arrived,

nor the sea that celebrates

only departures,

nor the mountains,

nor the dying cities.

Nothing will tell you

where you are.

Each moment is a place

you’ve never been.

You can walk

believing you cast

a light around you.

But how will you know?

The present is always dark.

Its maps are black,

rising from nothing,

describing,

in their slow ascent

into themselves,

their own voyage,

its emptiness,

the bleak temperate

necessity of its completion.

As they rise into being

they are like breath.

And if they are studied at all

it is only to find,

too late, what you thought

were concerns of yours

do not exist.

Your house is not marked

on any of them,

nor are your friends,

waiting for you to appear,

nor are your enemies,

listing your faults.

Only you are there,

saying hello

to what you will be,

and the black grass

is holding up the black stars.

Then we went and planned the Indian meal that we would be cooking the following Friday. We got with our groups, each that would be working on cooking a different part of the meal. The groups were Grill, Legumes, Desert, Bread, Curry, and Exclamation Point (Which is the group that decided on something additional).

Then we went outside to work on our end of year Projects. The ninth graders worked on making their Sun Dial at the foot of where our garden with Stone Walls is being built. Some worked on making the Garden and the walls. Some worked on the bread oven. Some people worked on their Projects for the Fitness trail. Everything that we have done in terms of big projects in science is beginning to come to a finish, neatly and smoothly as the school year ends, and it feels good, it feels like we’ve accomplished, and done something truly amazing.

Edgar finished presenting his project, which was amazing and we learned a lot. Then in the afternoon, Tal read Sophie’s story. Sophie’s story was amazing.

Her story was about her friend Evan. When Sophie and Evan were younger, and still went to school at Bridge School, they had a crush on each other. They were friends also, everything was nice and they were friends. Something happened between Sophie and Evan while they were at Bridge School, that made Evan think that Sophie didn’t still like him. They had ended the year at Bridge School not very close. Then they went to North Branch, and it was worse. Sophie and Evan started to move away from each other, Sophie’s romantic feelings for Evan faded, and started for someone else. So they drifted apart from each other, and then they rarely talked, and were cold to each other, sarcastic, and mean. In the end, Sophie found that she still loved Evan, not romantically. She still loved him, like a brother, and wanted to be friends with him, and saw all of the good in him.

Evan commented on Sophie’s story after it was read. He said that while he had been listening to Sophie’s story, he had started listing things that he loved. One of the things was, “I love Sophie”. He saw again that he loved Sophie, a lot, and that he always would. He started crying because he loved her. They both could see all of the good in each other, and could love each other without the love ever being false.

What we’ve done and built up over the course of the entire year is coming to a finish. We’re completing everything. We’re trying to look through words that appear small, shallow, insignificant, and find meaning in those. We’re trying to see ourselves and to understand that. While doing so, we are thinking about the end, and whatever it is that is coming. We have no idea what that is, and in my mind I see it as a blurry idea that I will never understand until I am there, but I’m searching, wishing to understand. On the first day of school we were told to open our eyes wide, and to keep them open until the end of the year, until now, in June. So that is all that we can do. Keep our eyes open as we begin to understand what we are searching for.

NBS Covenant

NBS Covenant

We should always: be striving for good/better in concert with others, even if that involves discomfort; believe that organization and belief can bring something unpredictable and great about; be doing concentrated and focused work towards a purpose as great as ourselves.

NBS runs smoothly when everyone is happy with themselves. We stipulate to this statement from all evidence hereby seen, felt, and experienced at the North Branch School. We run smoothly when we feel comfortable to cry and when we feel like we can help each other with our problems. When we can function completely independently then we will run smoothly. To run smoothly we at North Branch must accept everything, have patience, be generous, want to give their all and dedicate themselves, and try to put as much love as we can into everything we do.

We must be motivated by our wanting to be and do good, be confident in ourselves and our work, be generous and give to ourselves and others, and overall, learn to love, ourselves, our work, and others. We should all try to be like a family. We will always love, trust, and be honest with each other, like a family would be. We should all be committed to the whole, and do our part, to the best of our ability, to make the whole (which is that we all want to be safe and learn and grow) the best it can be;

That we try to see everyone as a whole being, and not block out their friendship or trust by judging, or discriminating on the basis of not letting the person speak up for themselves, or only looking at one part of a situation. We need to do things more acutely and we need to be fiercer in what we do, and clean better with more vigor;

To do things with a whole heart and find the source of our most complicated feelings; By knowing how we act and feel in curtain situations, it will help prevent problems. To respect each other in all situations, learn to forgive, and to do everything to the greatest of our ability, in order to demonstrate greatness.

Things in school can connect to things in our lives. All students of the North Branch School should and could be more respectful, honest and trust worthy. It is stipulated that we will learn important things and be smarter than the Average Joe; be willing to sacrifice personal wants for the common good; respect/honor each other.

We all need to have a goal that is similar to everyone else. The importance of speaking directly forms our own truth and that of whomever we are speaking to. To run smoothly we need constant respect in a way that doesn’t inflict too much upon another's actions. We need a kind of reckless mastery that lets us act in a way that is uninhabited but also thoughtful enough that in our chaos and recklessness we aren’t harming anything.

We need to act in such a way that lets us create something beautiful out of the mess without breaking things unnecessarily along the way. All of the community sweeping devices shall hereby remain intact and shall not be broken in any way, shape or form. Also, community owned devices shall be kept intact and not broken into little peaces. We shall be respectful of the older passengers or persons in the school, most specifically Tal, Eric and Rose.

NBS needs to be able to communicate, not only as a school, but individually. We must be able to separate from our safe places so we all will be able to connect to all. We stipulate that we will all connect with one another without hesitancy or fear. We will leave our safe places and join/connect with each other. But we will not avoid our safe places; we will just reach out to others.

We need to care about what we are doing. From small things like cleaning to big things like our stories. To be able to give up something we have personally and help the entire school. Trust each other, enough to have confidence to say anything troubling us; to love each memory and experience in our lives, but not trying to live only in that memory all the time; to be able to write well and to be able to put our feelings down on paper; to be able to find something inside that goes deeper then everyday life.

We need to not hurt each other, not pick fights with each other over small things. We have to see the bigger picture. See what our actions do to each other. We need to take what we learn every day with us and ponder on it for a while. We will not battle of push aside each other's ideas, requests, and thoughts.

At NBS there will be equally distributed responsibilities in technical terms, and faith in self discipline for the abstract ones. We will, in the name of the higher law, hereunto find the time and space to solve social and operational conflicts among the members. We, the aforesaid owners and contributors in eternal equilibrium will swear to this document, this song of ourselves. We shall hereby put the hunger of our souls above that of our minds. Everyone shall listen and respect and experience the awareness that these people have knowledge that we need.

However there shall be no forced agreement. Hear unto we shall be in the unending ever evolving and dedicated quest for knowledge. We need to find, search for, and always attempt to expand our understanding of past present and future. We need to accept all ideas, all people, each give everything to our work, so that we can be true before each other. We need to accept everything to keep things in balance.

There are three rules that Mary Oliver spoke of: that one needs to learn to love, to know love in one's heart, and when the time comes, to let it go. We need to meet on the field Rumi spoke of, we need to breathe poetry as air, and learn not to fear what the sleeper dreams. We need to use these covenants not just in one place but all places, so we may all know each other as we know ourselves.

Our Way of Entering Fire

Last Week: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday By Lydia; Tuesday by Hannah

Monday:

It was the first day back since the ninth grade hike, so naturally all of the ninth graders were talking about it. When I walked into the big room that morning the room was filled with the jabber of happy little students. The bell rang and we all settled down. Luke talked about being with his brother, not fighting, just playing games. We reminisced on how tough Bryn was during the Hike. Never once did she complain about her belly hurting. Even when we asked her, she would just say that it hurt. Nothing more, nothing less.

“She was in pain most or all the time, and unlike some of us, complaining about our hurting hips, or feet, she was silent,” said Tal.

“It’s an awesome experience after three years to go hiking in the woods,” said Henry.

We talked about what it was like when the ninth graders were not at school, and it was just the 70s and 80s.

“ The first day it was controlled, the second day reality sank in more. The second day we were not as excited to do the things that we were doing,” said Rider.

“ I felt like I was not an 80 yet, but I was not a sevie anymore. I am beyond what I started out as,” said Simon.

We talked about some of the problems that happened when the ninth graders were away. One of the groups was fighting about a name, and about who got to model for there group. How some people didn’t really listen to others when they talked about what the name for their group would be. We talked about you can’t always be the leader. Sometimes you have to step aside and let someone else’s ideas be heard.

“ It feels like we made you feel really small by not listening,” said Rider.

“ But, like umm,” offered Claire.

“ An excellent comment, Claire,” said Tal.

“ There is no future in modeling, but there is a future in saying, ‘Okay you go, you can be the leader,” said Tal.

Aylee read the poem “Sunrise” By Mary Oliver, here it is:

You can die for it, an idea,

or the world. People

have done so,

brilliantly,

letting

their small bodies be bound

to the stake,

creating

an unforgettable

fury of light. But

this morning,

climbing the familiar hills

in the familiar

fabric of dawn, I thought

of China,

and India

and Europe, and I thought

how the sun

blazes

for everyone just

so joyfully

as it rises

under the lashes

of my own eyes, and I thought

I am so many!

What is my name?

What is the name

of the deep breath I would take

over and over

for all of us? Call it

whatever you want, it is

happiness, it is another one

of the ways to enter

Fire.

Tuesday, by Hannah

It was morning meeting, we all sat in the big room, notebooks and lunch boxes had already been strewn across the table. “Does anybody have anything?” boomed the headmaster, Tal, over everyone’s chitter-chatting. He called on Reed. Reed told us that he had been reading The Catcher in the Rye for lit and he had noticed Holden Caulfield not knowing how to say goodbye to his prep school, and he was thinking about how to say goodbye to North Branch, and that he didn’t know how to say goodbye to North Branch. Next Tal called on Nathan. Nate talked about his brother’s tennis match over the weekend that he had lost, he told us the scores, but it all summed up to: Nathan was going to miss his brother next year when he left for college. Miles told us that his dad had taken him to an art museum and had seen lots of cool things and he felt bad when he didn’t leave a note in the comment book. Tal asked him if there was any Warhol. Miles said some, and Tal asked Cassie if she had the flyer for the art show hanging on her fridge. Cassie looked at him dully, and said she didn’t in a somewhat confused tone. Rider mentioned something (not as a morning meeting comment) about how NBS Alumni, Fielding Jenks wrote in some comment book for something ‘great stay, women were great’ and his brother, Penn wrote (pretending to be Fielding’s wife) ‘great stay but these girls need to have a talk with their fathers.’ I’m not really sure what he was talking about, but it happened.

“Hen, did you do the poem sign ups?” Tal asked his first born son.

“Yep, I did ‘em yesterday,” Henry said, leaning back in his wooden chair-desk.

“Alright, who’s signed up for today?” Tal asked. It was Claire. She didn’t have a poem. But quickly Anneke jumped to her rescue and pulled out “Brown and Agile Child” by Pablo Neruda. Claire read it and meeting was concluded – or so we thought. While Miles and the other techies were setting up the projector Tal decided to teach us a little bit about the upcoming 2010 World Cup Football Tournament in South Africa.

“The World Cup is to the Super Bowl as a billboard is to a postage stamp,” he explained. He went on about the scoring and the teams, and Calder and Yared chipped in occasionally.

Finally, after much grief with the projector, Aylee begun her project on Oneida, which was a commune founded 150 years ago in Oneida, NY, by a guy named John Humphrey Noyes. He was a utopian socialist who lived from 1811-1886. Aylee told us that JFK’s assassin had once joined the Oneida community previous to his murdering of Kennedy, and the lifestyles of Oneida had made him a little bit crazy. In Oneida they believed that no matter what they did, they could not sin. The community reached their peak of 306 members in 1878. So if you can imagine 306 people running around thinking that they can’t do wrong, you’ve got yourself a little bit of a problem, or at least nothing even remotely under control. Oneida was ranked the 19th century’s most successful utopian project though. One thing that the people of Oneida would do was they would pick someone and tell them all of the flaws in their character to “make them better”. For her activity Aylee told us we were going to do that as well. We had volunteers; Claire and about seven boys. We chose Reed Messner to go first and we soon discovered that things that could be categorized as flaws could instantly be turned into good qualities. Tal gave us the statistics; possibly, he said, about 75% of our character and personality is genetic (we have no control over it—we are what we are) and 25% we can change sort of depending on what we do and the decisions we make (a lot of which may be determined by our genetics). We tried again to find character flaws in Claire and maybe somebody else but gave up quickly as it was obvious the “flaws” were really parts of her that were growing and changing and mostly wonderful.

Next, without a break Miles presented Part Three of his project on Animal Utopias and Societies. Part One had been on bees, Part Two had been on wolves, and now Part Three was on Meerkats, a little bit on elephants, a little bit on killer whales, and a little bit on penguins. He started off right away by telling us Meerkats are not cats. They are technically part of the mongoose family. The English translation of Meerkat is ‘marsh cat’, but they live in the desert, so, he told us, the person who named them was an idiot. Actually, the Kalahari Desert, in Africa is the only place in the world that Meerkats, but don’t worry; they’re not endangered. Each “gang” of Meerkats has a territory of about 1-3 miles, with anywhere from 6-15 burrows in it and they switch burrows every 2 weeks because as you can imagine, they get pretty grimy after a while, and their burrows are 6-8 feet underground. He said that gangs will fight over territory sometimes and when they fight they puff up their fur to look bigger and jump up and down to appear scary. He told us that Meerkats are actually pretty evolved and they basically have a language because they can make up to 20 sounds and 4 different syllables. We were all kind of shocked when he informed us that that alpha female will eat any cubs pups that are born if they’re not her own. Oliver related that this was similar to his project, which had been on Eugenics. We watched a video about Meerkats, which to most of us, or, most of the boys, was more funny than informal, mainly because it involved a renegade meerkat who was trying to get He told us a little bit about elephants, one thing that I already knew was that elephants mourn, and I read somewhere that elephants are the only animal aside from humans that cry during and after death of a group member. Then he talked a little bit about Killer Whales; they live in pods, and Tal played us a video he found of the noises they make. It was almost like singing. For Penguins he told us they are the most social bird. While looking at some of the pictures of the penguins, people shouted about the movies, Happy Feet, and March of the Penguins. At the end he remembered Meer Kats don’t need to drink water because there’s enough water in the things that they eat that they can get by.

We talked a little about it afterwards.

“…learning from other things can better ourselves…” said Nate.

“…we’re dependant on learning. It’s unfair that they have knowledge already, we should have more instinctual stuff…” Rider said.

“…Meer Kats, bees and other animals are born to do certain roles in their societies, we’re not…” Yared said.

“…we’re more selfish…” Simon added.

We have interests we can’t control; we have ranges of what we choose.

“You guys are all like the little Meer Kats on the first day of school; all looking around for potential threats,” Tal said, swerving his head around, as if surveying for predators.

It was break. Nate and Reed Me. went out onto the patio and did cool jumps and tricks with their skateboards. And the seventh and eighth graders all scattered into little groups to practice a couple more times before lunch the songs that they had written about the ninth graders in their specific group for science. I called Lydia, who was out sick to ask her why she was not in school. Her nose was all stuffed and she replied, wheezing something that sounded a little more like “I’b sig” than “I’m sick” and I put her on speaker phone so that Tal and Henry could also laugh at her pathetic speech. I hung up and the 8thand 9th graders went into the big room for lit and the sevies went to Rose for math.

Next I went to science and then it was lunch. We frolicked for a little while but were then called into the Big Room to hear the songs that the sevies and eighties had practiced. The first group: Calder, Evan, Rio, Sophie, and Luke sang about Reed Messner and Cassie, a song they had written to the tune of Redemption Song, which we had sang during intermission of the play this year. The second group: Miles, Anna, Reed Martin, and Jesse had written a rap song about Henry, Isabel and Edgar. Miles made the beats while the girls, sunglasses, hoods, puckered lips and all, rapped about the three ninth graders. The third group: Simon, Anneke, Sarah, Kiley, and Yared, sang to the tune of Mrs. Robinson about Bryn and Nathan. The third group: Ollie, Aylee, Claire and Rider sung about me (Hannah) and Lydia to the tune of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. Before they began Rider made the commonly known announcement that he loves Taylor Swift and that she will be his girlfriend very soon. Overall there was much laughter and applause. Rose told us later during math class that she was “blubbering” during the songs because it dawned on her that the ninth graders would soon be leaving and how much she would miss us all.

Soon after that the day was over and we all ran around doing our jobs and gabbing and singing about who knows what. Reed and Nate were back on the patio with their skateboards, Anna and Kiley were running around with their C.U.C. clipboards checking people off for doing their jobs and in the end I think it was a good day at Ye Ole North Branch School.

Wednesday:

On Wednesday, Tal once again brought up our summer homework assignments. He had previously sent out an email with links to various videos about the World Cup, which is going to be held in South Africa this year. Our assignment is to watch the World Cup games, at least one of them, if not all of them. The first match of the US national team, against England, is taking place the same day of the Epigenesis party. Tal so kindly stated that none of us were to show up the Epigenesis party until the match was over.

Rider talked about how after he had watched the previews for the World cup, he watched a preview for the Olympics. About how a guy had been running the two hundred meter dash, fell and broke his leg. His dad came down from the stands and helped him get across the finish line.

“ It really puts winning in perspective,” said rider. “Because he did win in a way, it is almost more of a win for the man who broke his leg, than for the man who really won the race.”

Anneke talked about the show at the MOMA she saw, by Marina Abramovic. The show was that Marina would sit in a red dress, at a table and wait for someone to sit down in front of her, they would just look at each other. Even though there were no words said, it was as though there was some kind of connection, some conversation going on between the two of them. A silent connection.

The Poem read was “To The Harbor Master,” By Frank O’Hara.

I wanted to be sure to reach you;

though my ship was on the way it got caught

in some moorings. I am always tying up

and then deciding to depart. In storms and

at sunset, with the metallic coils of the tide

around my fathomless arms, I am unable

to understand the forms of my vanity

or I am hard alee with my Polish rudder

in my hand and the sun sinking. To

you I offer my hull and the tattered cordage

of my will. The terrible channels where

the wind drives me against the brown lips

of the reeds are not all behind me. Yet

I trust the sanity of my vessel; and

if it sinks, it may well be in answer

to the reasoning of the eternal voices,

the waves which have kept me from reaching you.

In science class that day we were informed that we would be doing Yoga. We all went down to the basement, got out the purple yoga mats, and did some yoga. Sarah taught the first bit of the class. The boys where yelling in pain, saying how they couldn’t do it. How they where falling over. Then when Sarah’s mom Ginger arrived to teach the remainder of the class, all of the boys shut up, and it was practically silent until the end of the class.

Thursday:

On Thursday morning Isabel informed us that she had met with some of her future teachers. Tal was sad to find out that none of these future teachers spit, swore, drooled, or spilled water all over themselves.

We talked about how Kiley has already started researching for her project next year. About how some people see her as just the smart kid. It makes it hard to see past the smartness when that is all people really see. Once we get in the pattern of “Oh, Kiley, she is the smart one,” it is hard to make people see in a new way.

We talked about how when you are not doing very well at NBS, when you are drifting away from your friend, when you are out of the heart of what happens at NBS, you drift away from the Big Room table. It just happened that Rider was sitting in the far corner of the room when Tal said this.

“Rider!” Some of the class shouted.

“You know what,” Rider said as he picked up his chair and moved it right behind Hannah, who was sitting right up to the table. Tal and Rider then proceeded to have what seemed like a 10 second staring contest, in which neither of them won.

Tal told us how surprised he was to find that when he opened his computer he found a big-eyed fuzzy white kitten staring back at him. OBEY THE KITTY!! Miles had changed his computer background from a meaningful picture of the “Pieta” by Michelangelo to photo of a fuzzy kitten named Utopia.

Anneke talked about how lacrosse practice felt weird without her friend Eklutna there.

“ Even though we don’t see each other very much anymore it feels weird when she is not there with me,” said Anneke.

Off of Anneke’s comment, Tal went on to question her ability to play lacrosse. All he seemed to care about was whether or not Anneke was the best on her team, if she kicked people’s butts, and if she hit people with the lacrosse stick like Calder used to hit him. Jesse confirmed that she is really good and really tough.

Aylee read Part of Walt Whitman's song of myself. Unfortunately I was unable to obtain the section she read.

In the afternoon we talked about Yared thinking he was dumb. Thinking he is bad at everything. When really he is not. When you say you are dumb, or bad at something, it cuts out the possibility of growing, or making yourself get better at that thing. It makes you close-minded to the possibility of growing.

“When you say you are dumb it cripples you, you have already given up,” said Tal. “You want to look at the whole, but he honest about what you see,”

Tal then proceeded to prove to the class and Yared that he (Yared) was smart by reading the class Yared’s lit response. Tal Read Simon’s Story about not being able to write very well, not being able to put his all into his writing. Here are some of the responses.

“ You showed your thoughts through your scenes, it’s so direct, you taught me something through it,” said Bryn.

“ He can look at himself so clearly and there is nothing that conflicts his view,” said Rider.

Friday:

During meeting, Claire talked about how she was at a dinner with her mom for all of the Artists showing in her mom’s gallery. Somehow the topic of Marina Abramovic’s art was brought up. One of the artists was against Marina’s art, but Claire really made her see what the meaning behind the art really was. It is interesting, how sometimes people get so caught up on what the surface of something looks like, what their first impression is, that they are unable to see the truth behind things, unable to see what they really mean. Claire made the artist see beyond her initial impression to something that went deeper, and about how art that is not pretty or is “confrontational” is still art, because it makes you think. Claire sounded like a scholar and philosopher, which she is.

Hannah talked about how she was mad most of the day before, and broke down twice. At lunch when she was outside alone on the picnic tables,

“ Well, I had been mad at Lydia for no reason really, and then Yared came out and sat with me trying to make me feel better until class. And then later that night after I got home from soccer practice he called to see if I was feeling any better. I already was feeling better because soccer was fun, but it was really nice of him to call,” said Hannah.

After meeting we all went out to the labyrinth and weeded in silence for about 15 minutes. By the end, there were no weeds left in the sand, and the whole thing had been raked. After we were finished weeding it all, we walked it, also in silence. I, among many, had taken off my shoes to walk it. The sand was not warm yet because it was still early in the day, but it still felt nice between my toes. We all walked in a huge line, following the path that lay ahead of us. The path that took us so close to the center, and then so far out again, until finally we reached the maple tree at the center.

After we finished the labyrinth, we got divided up into groups to finish the various projects we had been trying to finish since the beginning of the year. Some people worked on the bread oven roof. Some worked on our newly created garden. And all of us ninth graders worked on the sun dial we are creating.

In the afternoon, Tal read Kiley’s story about her dream to become a great writer when she was little, and how that dream faded away, until she came to NBS, where it wa s harder, and where she learned how to put all of herself into her story.

“She had to find out that she had to move on from writing a 45 chapter story with 10s of words about mozart to being able to move on and learn the next step. She was in a little world, she had small knowledge and everything seemed easy. Then she came into the big world and everything was harder, said Evan.

Rio did his project on Intentional Communities. He studied the Ten Stones, Blue Moon Cooperative, Hippie Haven, Grigori, and Burlington Co-housing East Village. The main topic of the project was a small group of people that came together, to form a small place to live. A place where if you put something good in, you get something good out, and about how this is done by usually by using “consensus.” At the end of his project, he had us decide by consensus about where our brooms would be stored. We all had to agree to one place. We ended up arguing about it for around 20 minutes, and found we could not all come to consensus, so the brooms will stay where they are. Then he had us come to consensus on whether or not we could follow the covenant that Anneke wrote up from her Shaker project. We did come to consensus on that topic, agreeing that we would try to do it for the rest of the year.

(NBS 2009-10 Covenant to come.)

I had a lot of fun writing this, and taking notes for it all through the week. I hope you enjoyed reading it.